I recently read an article on the intelligence of animals, but I already knew dogs could count and that they have a basic understanding of math. They can do simple addition and subtraction and also recognize quantities.

I used to test this periodically with Ceika, our Alaskan Malamute. I’d put a single kibble in her bowl just to tease her, and she’d stand stock still, staring at it. After a few seconds she’d raise her eyes to mine. It was crystal clear she was thinking. “If the ground opens up and drops you in, I won’t be the one digging to save you.”

Then I’d pour the bowl full, and all was forgiven. I’m on the same wavelength as Ceika, and also, I’ll forgive you if there’s Hershey’s involved.

When we’re gone for an extended period of time, I unplug all the small appliances in my kitchen; coffee pot, microwave, candle warmer and phone charger. I’m not sure why I do this except I read once that if the power goes out then surges back on, it can wipe out anything plugged in. Is this true? I don’t know, but I never wanted to test it. Also, I read (maybe I should stop reading) that small appliances still use electricity (which equates to money) when plugged in, but not in use. If only I weren’t a bargain basement broad.

Last week I borrowed reusable ice blocks from a friend, who sent her husband to the door to drop them off. I was in the house but didn’t hear him so she texted, “Hey, are you home? Your vehicles were out front so Jeff rang the doorbell but you never answered so he left the ice blocks in a cooler on your deck.” I was at home and even though the washer and dryer were running, I was puzzled as to why I didn’t hear the doorbell.

We have the doorbell with the button outside the front door, and the bell itself plugged into an outlet in the house. I went out and repeatedly pushed the button. No ding-dong sound. I tried undoing the button from the siding, but it was put on with sticky material, not to ever be taken off, so I did what every red-blooded nut case would do and tore it off.

Did it damage the siding? Why yes, it did.

I took the mechanism to the kitchen and with a sharp knife, cracked it open, tearing it into pieces, looking for a battery, but there wasn’t one. I unhappily threw all the parts in the trash, then went to the living room to look for the inside apparatus where I thought it was plugged in. It wasn’t there. I searched every electrical receptacle in the house and couldn’t find it.

Not being one to dilly dally, I looked on Amazon for a new doorbell, specifically doing a search to see which one I’d misplaced. I found it and put it in my cart, but recognizing it online, something began niggling at me, but what? What? For Pete’s sake, what?

That afternoon I was baking from a recipe on my phone when the battery started fading. I reached to plug it into the charger, but it was lying on the cupboard. When I’d gotten home from being gone for a few weeks, I hadn’t plugged it in. And then it hit me.

The phone charger was plugged into the doorbell apparatus, which had an outlet built into it for whatever I wanted to plug in. That’s when I also remembered that time months ago, when the neighbor rang the doorbell, but I hadn’t heard it in the kitchen with music playing and the dishwasher going.

When she told me, I’d brought the doorbell apparatus into the kitchen, plugged it in, then plugged the phone charger into it. Lord help.

I dug the busted doorbell pieces, complete with button, out of the garbage, put it all back together and taped it like the tightfisted, chintzy cheapskate I am. It worked like a dream. Since the sticky substance was no longer on the siding, I had to hot glue it. Man, I’m classy, but everything appears pristine and is no worse for my molesting it.

A crow has the intelligence of a 7-year-old and can select a key from an array of objects, including other keys, to open a box with a treat inside. And will find the correct key 90 percent of the time. Am I dumber than a crow? My kids would say, “Without a doubt.”